A Nigerian man, simply identified as Tunde, has opened up about the emotional toll of relocating abroad with his family, saying he regrets taking his wife and children to the United Kingdom in search of a “better life.”
In a heartfelt personal story shared by Ayo Ademokoya on Facebook, Tunde recounted how what started as a dream for greener pastures soon turned into a battle for survival, identity, and peace of mind.
According to him, when his family first landed in the UK, everything seemed perfect — clean streets, polite people, organized systems — and it felt like stepping into the long-desired “promised land.” But beneath the beauty, he discovered the harsh realities of immigrant life.
“We believed we had finally arrived. I remember saying, ‘Omo, we don make am!’ But we didn’t know that survival here isn’t about how fast you run; it’s about how long you can endure,” he recalled.
The first few years, Tunde said, were filled with struggles. Decent accommodation was hard to find, landlords demanded proof of income, and jobs were scarce without “UK experience.” His wife, a university graduate in Nigeria, started working as a cleaner in a care home, while he took up night shifts in warehouses — sometimes working two jobs at once just to meet up with bills.
“Sleep became a luxury,” he said. “We smiled in pictures for family back home, but behind those smiles were swollen feet and endless bills.”
Despite the hardship, the couple found hope in their children — their greatest motivation to keep pushing. They worked tirelessly to provide good education and a comfortable life for them. But as the years passed, Tunde noticed something painful: the cultural values he grew up with — respect, humility, and community spirit — began to fade in his children’s lives.
“The same children we sacrificed everything for started drifting away,” he said. “They questioned every correction. ‘Daddy, you can’t talk to me like that, it’s abuse.’ ‘Mummy, this is my right.’”
He lamented that even simple discipline became a risk, as teachers, social workers, and school authorities were quick to interfere.
“Back home, it takes a village to raise a child. Here, it takes caution not to lose your child to the system,” he said.
The financial and emotional strain also took a toll on the family’s unity. Weekends meant extra shifts, not family bonding. Rent, council tax, electricity, transportation, and food — every aspect of life came with a bill attached.
“The soft life we imagined abroad turned out to be an endless cycle of work and worry,” Tunde said. “People back home envy us, but they see the pictures, not the pressure. They see the pounds, not the pain.”
He confessed that there are nights when he lies awake questioning his decision to move abroad.
“I wanted a better future for my children, but in chasing that dream, I lost parts of myself, my culture, and sometimes, even my peace,” he said.
While he admits that the UK offered him exposure, structure, and comfort, he believes it came at a steep emotional cost — one he may never fully recover from.
“If I could go back in time, maybe… just maybe… I would have stayed in Nigeria, built gradually, and raised my children close to our roots,” he said.
Tunde’s story serves as a sobering reminder to many Nigerians seeking opportunities overseas. His final words captured both pain and wisdom:
“Abroad is not heaven. It’s another battlefield. Sometimes, when you think you’re running toward a dream, you might just be running away from peace.”
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